Feng Shui For Valentine’s Day

When a mutual friend offered to introduce us to Dana Claudat, the voice behind our newest web obsession The Tao of Dana, we knew we were in for a treat.  What we didn't know was that we'd spend nearly three hours gabbing with the feng shui consultant, or that we'd feel so inspired afterward that we'd practically skip to our car. Since it usually takes ten glasses of wine for us to feel any pep to our step, we figured you too might benefit from some of her thoughts, particularly as they pertain to February 14th and that crazy little thing called love: 

Everyone wants love. Then, when they find love, they often want more of it, or better love, or a new love…even after marriage. Love is a very tricky thing -- in my many years of feng shui adventures, I’ve seen that most people are not just looking for love.  A search for fulfillment, a family, greater acceptance of themselves, or even power and/or money is often strongly linked to the word "love."  This Valentine’s Day, when you are musing about love, I have a proposition for you: try to gain wisdom and learn to be kinder to yourself!

First of all, contrary to pop psychology, you aren’t broken because you haven’t found “the one" or because the one you have doesn’t thrill you.  However, you are broken if you think you are broken!  I wonder how many broken things are in your closets, drawers, and/or lining your shelves?  Fix them all or file them in a proper trash bin.  If you have broken parts of your home -- yes, that light switch, the blown-out blub, all of it -- fix them.  Our homes often mirror our lives. 

On that note, take a look at your actual mirrors.  Can you see your full reflection in all of your mirrors  (your full head, at least)? Do you have an excessive number of mirrors (narcissism could be a problem!) or no mirrors (self-denial or displeasure)?  If mirrors directly face your bed (not great: too shocking to see yourself as you wake up), try to cover them or move them.  

Incidentally, in feng shui (and in life!), wisdom feeds relationships directly.  Make sure you get GOOD wisdom if your relationships flop.  Reading a mountain of conflicting books about being a bitch and playing senseless games might give you an ego-boost, but it will not make you wiser. Lets get real.  There are actual doctors and very astute scholars who have research backed by case studies on their side in the relationship department. Dr. Pat Allen and Dr. John Gray are both amongst the most fact-based in their relationship dishing.  There are many others, too… just do your research! You wouldn’t run to Twitter to find the answer to your major health problem, so why call every single friend and read every pop cultural how-to guide that exists to deal with the future of your love life? 

Now, for the fun stuff: how well do you treat yourself?  I can sometimes tell by how soft the fabric is on your upholstered sofa and chairs at home just how  okay you are with taking good care of yourself.  Furniture is hard to replace on a whim, but a cashmere or super-soft throw blanket is easy to get on sale, and it can raise the “touchy-feely” quotient of your sofa immensely.  If your walls are blank, you may be denying yourself visual pleasure.  If your bathroom looks like a tornado hit, get the makeup and toiletries organized in a professional way with a trip to the Container Store. Also, a few new towels that are plush can add much luxury.  

Can you display your favorite collection of things? I once had a client make an art installation out of her most luxurious shoes, as her collection was so immense yet hidden!  Put a bowl of candy or fruit -- your favorites, just as long as you won’t demolish them daily -- near your entranceway or on the coffee table in your main gathering room.   Always allow yourself the luxury of your favorite candle. They last long enough to justify the expense, or learn to make candles in huge batches so that you have abundance!  

Yep, that’s my last point: abundance.  Fixation, desperation, provocation, intimidation, seduction games gone awry…all signs that you don’t believe there is enough love to go around.  Make sure your home -- even a studio -- demonstrates abundance.  I have 60 candles in giant glass votives in my kitchen; it takes a lot for me to “see” abundance.  What can you do to demonstrate abundance?  Collect a pile of seashells, get a giant indoor palm tree (or two!), play your favorite music...richness is a sensory experience.  

What does any of this have to do with celebrating love on Valentine’s Day or finding the love of your life? Everything.  A home that is fulfilling (even if it's your artsy studio before you move into your mansion) reflects a more fulfilled you.  A wiser, calmer, happier, more tuned-in you can actually enjoy life, embrace the present moment, and be more of who you are, all of the time.  That is something to love!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  xoxo Dana